Maintaining Positivity When All the News Is Negative
Maintaining or even boosting our mental wellness is of utmost importance during hard times. When the newsreel is filled with depressing statistics, you feel surrounded by negativity, and the world faces turmoil, it’s easy to slip into unhealthy habits, mentally and physically. Peace, safety, and positivity can seem so far from reality, but with a few simple steps, you’ll be able to keep your chin up, even when the news brings you down.
Episode 10 on Reaching Abundance: How to Boost Mental Health When Surrounded by Negativity
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We all run into tough times throughout life, and no matter the timing or the situation, we tend to think that *this time* is the worst, the most depressing, or the most difficult thing we’ve ever faced. Prior situations never seem as bad because you’re able to look at them with clarity… because they happened already, and because you came out on the other side. But *this time* is different, it’s wreaking havoc on your life NOW, it’s scary and painful and you can’t see the solution or how long it will take for the situation to resolve.
The Current Situation
At the time I’m writing this article, we are all sheltered-in-place, at home, abiding by the CDC’s and local government’s orders to social distance as much as possible because of the Coronavirus Pandemic. At this point, there are over 1 million cases worldwide and over 50 thousand deaths. By the time this episode gets to you, those numbers will have increased and it’s never been easier to get lost in the constant live-stream of updates and allow the stress to take hold.For many of us, these days and weeks that we’ve been home are quickly becoming some of the most challenging and stressful days we’ve faced. With no foreseeable end in sight, most Americans are trying to earn income from make-shift home offices, homeschool our children, keep food on the table (For help navigating home-life during the lockdown, read this.), and protect our sanity while never getting a break, not going out, and maintaining minimal physical contact with the outside world. The physical distancing is creating feelings of emotional uncertainty and causing many of us to seek advice on how to stay strong or how to remain hopeful during this unprecedented time.
Listen to the whole thang on YouTube, mama!
You Aren’t Alone
These aren’t tough times because it takes physical strength or willpower to stay home, quite the opposite. It’s because we’re isolated, separated from co-workers, friends, family, and even neighbors that we used to see daily, with no real knowledge of when it will be “safe” to see them again. This is where the mental-health piece comes in.
Humans thrive off of connection – this is apparent with social media, online education, and even coaching practices. The basic platform might be online, but what we really crave is the ability to see and talk to someone. Being heard and seen are the most fundamental mental health needs in humans, yet, this is a component of what we’re not allowed to do right now.
Sure, we have technology (thank goodness!) like podcasts and video conferencing, but connecting virtually doesn’t bear the same emotional and mental positivity as real, in-person conversation. And yes, you can stand in your yard and talk to someone across the street or on the sidewalk 6’ away from you, but that distance is more than a physical measurement. It’s affecting our mindset and our emotions.
The Side-Effects of Social Distancing
More so than ever before, people are speaking out about feelings of anxiety, depression, overwhelm, and loneliness. The constant uptick in cases and deaths of the COVID-19 Pandemic is, understandably, a cause of some of these feelings.
But the other big cause is the overwhelm and helplessness we feel about the virus, potential exposure, and our own ability to carry on a “normal” life being taken away. Add the fears we feel about the health and safety of our loved ones to the mix, and our mental well-being can spiral quickly.
Feelings of overwhelm occur when we see the problem as a whole – as a massive, entire issue that’s growing beyond our control & virtually unstoppable. The best way to handle any kind of large issue, whether that be your finances, an employment situation, a relationship, or a pandemic is minute by minute, task by task.
5 Quick Tips To Boost Mental Health When All The News is Negative
Finding the Bird’s-eye View
Anytime you can break something down into reasonable tasks and only focus on a single step at a time, the easier it is to handle the situation. Day by day and week by week we have to focus on things that we CAN do for ourselves and our families. We must purposely back up, step-by-step to a point of granularity and then begin addressing one tiny task or day at a time.
To begin bringing panicky feelings down a notch, the first important thing to remember is that life won’t be like this forever. We won’t be homeschooling our kids for the rest of their lives. Public schools, restaurants, malls, and everything will re-open at some point.
It Won’t Always Be This Way
If the struggle you’re facing is unemployment or missed paychecks, it’s important to wholly recognize that more money will come. You will find a way, you will get a new job, you will earn more money in your life. We will stay strong and overcome this uncertainty.
The current situation is NOW, not ALWAYS, and things can, and likely will be completely different in a week or a month or six months from now.
So the challenges you feel now, only need to be dealt with to your ability right now. Today. Without self-judgment. All you have to do is the best you can at this time and that’s the best that can be expected.
Six Simple Steps to Increase Mental Health
Calm Overwhelm step-by-step During Stressful Times
It’s best to break things down into the following 6 manageable categories.
Survival
Are you surviving? And by this, Yes, I mean literally – are you surviving? Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have food? Are you safe? Are the bills and essentials paid for? YES – If the basics are covered, then you’re already doing well – you can take a moment to think about the things you do have and be thankful. Sit in the realization that you have what you need to survive and allow feelings of panic or reactivity to calm because of that. Pursue a heightened level of comfort within this by journaling about the things you do have. I use and love the Instant Happy Journal and the Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal for these types of exercises. Seeing a physical, hand-written list of the things I DO have taken care of gives me an edge of positivity.NO – Lacking the essentials? This is your immediate place of focus. Forget the drama and the fear mongering and the news on TV. Your immediate concern is taking care of the basics. Securing today’s or this week’s roof over your head, clean water, food, and safety is the first step toward relieving stress, therefore increasing mental health. As long as one of these necessities is lacking or even questionable, you’re going to feel stress. There’s no way around it because these are essential, basic needs. Finding work, selling things you have but don’t need in order to generate some cash, calling creditors to make payment arrangements, or contacting a local food bank may be some of your first steps toward self-care at this time. You have zero capacity to worry about anything else. Any action(s) you can do and reasonably control to create a level of security are the immediate ways you can relieve feelings of helplessness and dampen overwhelm.
I Really Do Get It
I’ve been panicked about covering our family’s basic needs before too, so I do understand, and you can read all the details in an article entitled “Everything You Need to Know About How Debt Affected My Life”. If your family’s basic needs are in question, prioritize one thing you need to focus on or do each day – remember, break this down into attainable tasks. The phone call, the job listing, or the sale of an item might be all you can handle at one time. That’s okay, just do that one thing and move on when that one thing is taken care of or when progress stagnates on that task.
Happiness
Once your basic survival is covered and you’re able to look around and find comfort in the fact that things are taken care of, the next step is to find ways to increase your happiness. What tiny thing(s) can you find or do that bring joy into your day? Can you go for a walk? Pick up a book? Paint your nails? Catch up on your favorite show? Carefully think about what will bring you long-lasting happiness. Avoid things that have a negative after-effect, like online binge shopping, overeating or drinking too much alcohol, and any other type of obsessive behavior. Be thoughtful about what you’d like your life to look like if it were “perfect” and what that version of you would do. Think about things you used to complain about the lack of, like sleep, or wish for, like time to work a hobby and embark on a mission to do those things. I’m really great at making excuses not to exercise, yet that’s the one thing that I know I really need to do for myself right now. It’s a great stress reliever and I’m going to begin relying on these 5 hacks again to make sure I get my buns movin’. I’ve noticed lots of families on social media getting new furry household members lately. Maybe that’s because it’s Spring or maybe because – What better thing to do right now than to train a puppy? We have time. Whatever you choose, find positive influences, activities, thought processes, and routines to enhance or create joy in your life. These don’t have to cost money and they don’t have to be complicated. Walks and sunshine are free and among the top self-care items on any list.
Control
Still feeling anxious? Anxiety feeds off of fear and we naturally fear things that we can’t predict and can’t control. What IS in your control? – What you will eat for lunch, what you do in the next 5 minutes, what you occupy your mind with, and whether you choose to take a nap today.
When we exercise control over the simple things over which we do have control, we create and allow feelings of validation, progress, and even accomplishment. What can you do today that will allow you to feel better? Here are a few examples:
- I’m going to paint my nails – that makes me feel beautiful.
- I’m going to cook my family a hearty dinner – that allows me to feel as if I’m being a good provider.
- I’m going to read each of my kids a storybook today and make sure I give a few hugs and kisses throughout the day – that makes me feel like a good mother.
- I’m going to hold hands with my husband today while we go on a walk – that makes me feel loved while getting sunshine and fresh air, which always brings my spirits up.
A few other things you can do to exert control at any time are:
Limit News/Media – The news stories are often either highlighting the brutal, negative truth or even spinning a story negatively to attract attention. If you absolutely must stay informed, set a time of day when you check it and a time limit for which you can get sucked in. When you do check the news, amidst all the drama, look for the people who are helping – notice the nurses, key advisors to leadership, and other people who are on the “front lines” working to alleviate the issues. Noticing these helpers takes your focus off the horrific events and allows you to notice the good, no matter the news.
Set a Personal Schedule – Whether or not you’re employed and working from home or not, you should still have a personal schedule consisting of what time you wake up, some exercise (even if it’s just a walk or just some simple aerobic moves in your living area), reading/learning time, productivity time, and built-in breaks for stretching, lunch, water, and snacks. This can be as loose or as rigid, as detailed or as broad as you want. Planning your day well can smash self-sabotage from the get-go. Find what works for you and makes you feel good.
Get Enough Sleep – Studies show that when we’ve had enough rest, we are less emotionally charged, more energetic, thus, more positive. Getting the recommended levels of sleep can help us avoid feeling foggy, which allows us to approach situations with a level-head and make decisions with clarity.
Make Healthy Choices – No, I don’t mean start a diet. I mean make a few, small, healthy choices a day by increasing your level of activity slightly (try dancing to your favorite song, doing some online yoga, or heading outdoors) and by swapping one sweet or carb-heavy choice for a veggie or fruit instead. Don’t deprive yourself. Don’t draw a hard line as to what you can and can’t eat. Do be mindful of the nutrition you’re putting into your body. In fact, items like oranges, strawberries, broccoli, carrots, spinach, and sweet potatoes have high doses of Vitamin C and B6, which are natural mood-boosters.
Do Your Part
At the time I’m writing this, doing your part means social distancing, following stay-at-home orders, and doing everything we can to limit contact with other people to avoid spreading or contracting COVID-19. Yep, we’re in the middle of a Global Pandemic, that’s just reality. So there’s lots to freak out about if you allow it.
No matter the situation though, there’s a role for you to play.
- Maybe it’s to file for unemployment and brush up your resume while taking an online course to develop your skills and make you more hirable.
- Maybe it’s to pull your credit report and go down the list, one creditor at a time, and make phone calls.
- Maybe it’s time to be proactive and create a meal plan and budget for the week so your energy can be used elsewhere the next 5 days.
- Maybe the stock market fluctuations or uptick in medical needs has actually increased your load at work – if that’s the case, then your role right now is to step into your boss lady shoes and rock the socks off this thing with your team at work.
Whatever the situation, no matter the stressor present, you have the ability to feel as if you’re doing purposeful work and that you’re meant to be where you are right now.
Doing your part right now might be as simple as staying connected – through any stressful time, you have the ability to remain in contact with people you care about. It’s important for us to seek and maintain social support no matter what we’re going through, and whether you find that with friends or family or both, ensure you set aside time to connect with those loved ones. These days, Zoom, Google Hangouts, FaceTime, and other opportunities to connect on video are widely available… waiting to be used. So, use them!
Personal Growth / Development
Anytime we’re learning or growing, we naturally feel as if we’re moving forward in life. An occupied mind doesn’t have the ability to also contemplate fear because it’s busy learning. So, find something you want to learn about & dive in. Online courses (especially those that could increase your income), books, and other opportunities to develop are vastly available these days.
Here are a few that I’ve taken (and loved!) that have taught me a new skill, helped me grow my business, and expanded my mind:
Another important part of this personal development piece is Don’t make assumptions – Learn something in the news that freaks you out? Instead of making assumptions about how deadly something is or how crazy people are, find an aspect that you can research and learn about.
For example, I’ve learned some amazing things lately about the history of Pandemics, genetics, geography, prior centuries’ medicinal practices, and about other global crises’ in history. None of which I knew anything about before.
I’m a big personal growth and personal development nerd, so I always have a stack of books begging to be read, plus a wish list on Amazon, plus a few en que on Audible. If I’m not in the mood for any legit reading or listening, there’s always YouTube. I swear, you can probably learn anything on YouTube these days!
Here are a few of the books on my want-to-read list: The Awakened Family by Dr Shefali Tasbary, Daring Greatly by Brene Brown, and Financial Freedom by one of my fellow Finconners, Grant Sabatier
Ever listened to audiobooks before? Try it! It’s way more convenient than reading since you can walk or wash dishes or even close your eyes while listening.
Luxuries
If your basic needs are taken care of, you’ve implemented happiness-creating activities, you have exerted control over the things within your ability like your schedule, the next step is to recognize and enjoy the luxuries in your life. Do you have a comfy bed? More than a few rooms in your home? Netflix? Books? Air Conditioning? These are luxuries.Think about how precious these things are and how little we notice them on a daily/weekly basis. What else in your life could you list as a luxury?Even the extra time we have right now with our kids home from school is an absolute luxury. (Having them home 24/7 might be tough, but it’s 100% a luxury!)Again, journaling and creating a gratitude list can help us keep these things top-of-mind and train our brains to recognize the awesome things and people we have in our lives. Over time, with practice, your gratitude list will expand and these types of thoughts will come easier and become an even more joyous exercise.
Beyond recognizing the luxuries you have, if all your other expenses and savings are covered, why not consider donating to charity (here’s one of my favorites) or why not buy a new little luxury for yourself? Is there anything useful, that you’ve been wanting, that could add to your life right now? For example, I’ve had my eye on a Fitbit Versa 2 and since we’re all home & attempting to incorporate a little more fitness in our lives (plus, summer is coming), I just snagged a rose gold one and boy do I love it! This is one of those little luxuries that I feel will encourage me to get my buns outside, I’ll enjoy using it, and it will increase my fitness at the same time. Is there anything similar you’ve been thinking about?
You’ve Got This
When I think back over my adult life, there are challenges after challenges where I had to step up and be bigger than I was, learn something new, stand up to someone, navigate unfamiliar ground, get brave, put myself out there, or do something risky.
Each time, it was the most challenging thing I’d ever done. The scariest time of my life. And yet, I overcame it. We humans are destined to thrive. Our nature is to want an abundant life, not to live in fear, or be overcome by negativity.
It’s the scariest, most stressful times that mold us into the fighters, the determined doers, and the most “fearless” version of ourselves. Every great feat seems insurmountable as it’s happening, and any recognition or praise comes later, if ever.
But right now, during this tough time, Reach a little closer to Abundance by breaking fears and overwhelm down into these simple steps, in the order they were presented here.
Focusing On Mental Health Isn’t Selfish
Boosting your mental health means recognizing feelings and working through them, not avoiding them. Consistently recognizing when negativity is taking hold and practicing the steps here will increase your ability to calm your fears even more quickly over time. It’s like a muscle – it takes practice and conditioning.
Your mental wellness impacts those around you – which means your kids and your spouse. As the Household CEO, it’s of utmost importance that caring for your mental health is at the top of your to-do list.
We Are In This Together
We are all in this together, feeling the same insecurities, experiencing the same frustrations you are. Millions of people across the globe have been affected, directly or indirectly by the Coronavirus Pandemic, so don’t be afraid to talk about what you’re feeling.
If you’re in-between jobs, struggling through a rough patch in your relationship, healing from heartbreak, or just if nothing seems to be going your way, realize you are not alone. Find supportive, positive friends and seek ways you can support others as well. We will make it through this.
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