Words and thoughts shape our day, our attitude, and more importantly, how we treat others. We’ve all heard it… think positive thoughts, recite positive mantras, positive reinforcement with our kids. But what does that all really mean and how can a person really be so positive all the time? 

I snicker quietly to myself, because I’ve been asked over and over throughout my life how I smile all the time, and how I’ve come to be such a positive person. I can generally put a positive spin on a situation or find the silver lining on an issue, but it took some deep inner work to figure out why I was able to do this. 

Looking Back – a little self reflection

I have to attribute my ability to practice these positive thoughts and make things happen to my gritty, goal driven dad and my soft hearted caretaker mom. From a young age, I was taught to truly believe that everything would be ok, goals are worth fighting for, and persistence is key.

In fact, I remember situations where we moved because of gang violence, my father worked multiple jobs, and my mom drove across town to get the best deals on groceries. I know they did everything they could to provide for me when I was young- and one of the things I absorbed was the ability to be positive. 

As far back as I can remember, I believed in my soul that I could get what I truly wanted out of life. I believed that dreams were attainable. I knew success wouldn’t come right away and that I’d have to relentlessly pursue what I wanted, but that I would achieve it. I still stand by this mindset. 

Persistence is Key

I’ve only realized recently how active I am at practicing positivity. As with anything, it takes long-term commitment and “getting back on the horse” over and over again. Maybe it’s taken years for me to work up to the income I expect, time to build the family I wished for, lots of financial planning to have the home I love. But I’m making it happen. Out of persistence and positivity, comes our dreams, achieved. 

This doesn’t mean things will always be perfect, by far. It means, whatever comes your way, you can learn and practice positive behavior until you believe, deep in your soul, that things will workout for the best.

I vividly remember a few tough situations in my twenties, when I didn’t have any money, was in a tough social situation, and really was just learning how to navigate adulthood. Throughout every one of those issues, I always truly believed everything was going to work out for the best and I was able to take action to ensure it became that way. 

Time and time again, when it just didn’t seem possible, something happened. An unexplainable break came through for me. Maybe it was a random check in the mail, maybe a freebie from a friend, maybe a call from a distanced loved one.

Every time I needed something, life happened. “Life” not meaning an accident was had or that some unexpected issue popped up, as the phrase is typically used. But rather “life” meaning a random act of kindness, a windfall, or a positive occurrence of some sort. 

No, I don’t believe it was luck either. Luck or being lucky implies that life happens to you instead of the other way around. Positive manifestations and actions reflecting those positive thoughts create energetic ripples throughout your life and affects the world around you.

Intentional positive thoughts, feelings, and activity impact others and will boomerang back to you. Only you are in control of your intentions and thoughts, so I’d argue that you are in control of what also comes your way.

Whether you’re religious and believe that some almighty being is guiding and protecting you, or  whether you’re a little more woo-woo and believe that the universe and the moon or crystals exude energy that promote your manifestations, it’s all the same to me. The inherent, unrelentless belief that you have the power to attract the people, career, money, and energy that you need or want at any given time, is magical, to say the least.

Examining yourself instead of blaming others

Words and thoughts have so much power in our lives and harness the ability to help or hurt our navigation toward our best life. Beliefs that nothing matters, that we aren’t “worth it”, and that the cards are dealt against us manifest a sticky spiderweb of negativity throughout our lives. Pessimistic thoughts create selfish actions which perpetuate a closed heart and, before you realize it, that darkness engulfs those around us too.

If you find that your kids, husband, friends, and seemingly everyone around you is spewing negativity left and right, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your own thought patterns. We are a product of our surroundings and that equation flows from you to others just as much as it flows from them toward you.

We’ve gotten so consumed in this instant gratification society, with answers at our finger tips, So what happens when something doesn’t immediately work? We’re devastated. We stomp around, pout and slam things, and snap negativity at loved ones. 

What are our children being taught in this “immediate”, greedy life?

Have we given up on powerful hopes and aspirations because they seemed difficult? Or maybe because you were impatient with the results?

Believe and Create

It’s imperative that we as women and, especially, that we as mothers change the script of our thoughts. Imagine how positive communication could affect your marriage. Dream about how close your heart could feel to your child, whom you’ve positively nurtured, and how that repaired thought pattern could affect your relationship… forever. Think about the possibilities of your child’s future because you took the time and energy to exemplify and teach them the power of positivity. 

This change is simple and difficult at the same time, and is going to require persistence. You must have the ability to try. And to try again, over and over. Accept the weird looks, embrace the change, and be confident in this choice. You’ll fall off the wagon, and you have to get back on again – for the rest of your life. Changes in your thoughts, your deepest feelings of truth, are not going to adjust overnight. Practice, every day, each time you notice an opportunity, for the duration of your conciousness. 

Your Best life, ahead

Tell yourself positive things- Recite a few short phrases quietly to yourself, mantras if you will, that encourage you to believe and feel what you want. Verbalize the positive spin on situations throughout your day. Share that silver lining you’ve found with others if the opportunity arises. At the end of each day, reflect back on something that made you feel good. At the dinner table we often go around sharing the “best” part of our day. This is a great exercise to get the family involved in this positive change while prompting you to verbalize something positive and keep you accountable. 

Use positive reinforcement with your kids and your husband. Telling other people positive things and things that you love or that they do that make you happy will cause a shift in your environment. Remember the equation I talked about earlier? If you begin speaking positivity into others, they will mimic you. The compliments and vibes will come full circle. Try something like “Honey, I love it when you help clear the table after dinner.” as a compliment when he just finished that task. It will show your appreciation and positively reinforce his assistance with the dishes. 

Think positive thoughts- find something beautiful and think to yourself “Wow, that’s so beautiful.” Actually utter those words and take a single moment to absorb the beauty instead of rushing by. Compliment yourself. Look in the mirror and give yourself a compliment on your biggest insecurity. Tell yourself, “your hips look fabulous in this dress” or “your buns look great in these yoga pants.” Do you feel silly yet? Good! Keep practicing this every day until the silliness wears off and you find yourself believing it.

Do things that make you feel good. If you know that you feel great after a workout, then plan a workout for each day. If you know you’ll beam with pride if that to-do list gets knocked out, then make the errands on that list priority this weekend. Maybe you need to pair some Pinterest-worthy outfits on Sunday night so that you can be fabulously fashionable all week. Maybe you just need an hour of quiet meditation or stretching each morning in order to feel your best. Whatever it is, make it happen so that you have no space for negativity in your life. Notice that I only underlined the two first words, Do and Things. The key here is to take action, set life in motion so you’ll have accomplishments you can be proud of, so get out and get busy. When you take action toward a certain intention, it has a much greater chance of coming true.

Harness the Power

When we feel good about ourselves, what we fear others may think matters less and less. When we don’t allow others’ opinions of us to control our attitude, our thoughts, or our feelings, we are more in control of our life than ever.

When we influence others to lead with positivity, as you will with your family and your children, we truly change the trajectory of their lives. Harness the power you hold, mama. Give yourself permission to make this change. No one else holds that key. Allow yourself to embrace the positivity in your life. Engage with others in an effort to share positivity. But, most of all, empower yourself and your children to believe in themselves and create the abundant life you all deserve.