I’ve always had a love hate relationship with fitness. I love the way I feel AFTER I am in a routine and rocking the workout. I HATE how I feel the first few workouts and while I’m struggling to adapt to that higher level of energy.

I’ve long said I have commitment issues when it comes to working out. I can easily commit to marriage, being a great mom, a full time position at work, or even being there for a friend, but when it comes to working out, that is a whole different story.

This may come as a shock to those who know me, because I’ve always been “little” and generally fit. I appreciate that more than they know. And we are all our own worst critics, right?

I value that I have a petite frame, but that doesn’t mean I’m just happy being small yet flabby. I want to be toned or ripped or whatever- I yearn for those cut, sexy arms and thighs with that defining line up the side just as much as everybody else.

The thing is, I’ve looked like that before. Let’s be honest, it was in high school. Yeah, go ahead and laugh, I am laughing with you! But here’s the real difference- I truly believe I can look like that again. Maybe not exactly, but pretty dang close! I think we all can, but not without a TON of effort, right?

My Motivation

Here’s the plan: To be the fittest and healthiest I’ve ever been by 35. (Which is THIS year! Yikes!)

That doesn’t mean I need to be the skinniest, the toughest, or the most limber. Simply the fittest & healthiest. Fitness means something different for everyone.

For me it means accomplishing things that I never dreamed of before- like a half marathon.

I registered for the Rock ‘n Roll half marathon in Dallas 2018, completed 16 full weeks of training, and actually completed the race! I’ve already impressed and amazed myself.

Here’s the laughable surprise though, I haven’t been running since.

I literally ran 13 miles one day and then never ran again. What is wrong with me??

Which brings me to the toughest part of any journey… Commitment. Long-term perseverance-type commitment.

Recommitting

I was so committed in the Fall of 2018 when I signed up for that half. I was SO motivated! I searched out the training plan, printed a big poster so I could track my runs, and was super into it.

That’s how we all feel when we start something, right?

I typically get 1-2 weeks into a plan and then get too…something.

As it turns out, I’m really great at making excuses. I’m too tired, work was too hard today, I can’t work out this morning because we have a packed evening and I need to save my energy. I’ll say whatever it takes to avoid exerting myself.

So, I’m still really impressed. I made it, soaring like an eagle, through that entire 16 week training plan and even completed the full 13 mile run – an not in last place might  I add! But what happened after that?

I fell off the wagon. Like completely. The problem isn’t that I fell off though. The problem is that I stayed off, like for an entire year.

So here I am, finally getting motivated again. Spring is coming! My birthday is in 4 months! I’m not gonna lie – the thought is crossing my mind that I’ve probably sabotaged myself since I seriously doubt I can be where I want to be in just 4 short months. I’m recommitting though. I’ve got to get back on the horse.

It matters that I stayed off for this long, and I won’t get anything accomplished if I continue to stay off. Writing this blog is a big part of me recommitting.

I’m throwing this out there to the universe so that I’ll actually follow through with it.Inspiring you by sharing what I’m going through, getting your feedback, and cheering you on in your journey encourages me! The great circle, right?

The Truth is…

Running is HARD for me and I’ve never been “a runner”. I’m terrible at it! My husband still chuckles at my suffering as he remembers the first time he ever got me to jog a full mile in our old neighborhood.

That was over 10 years ago and I was in the 12 minute mile range and it was the hardest thing I’d ever done at that time.

I hated him for an entire day after that, but I also knew he was trying to help me. And he really was so sweet and encouraging about it, it’s just REALLY challenging to me. That’s it, bottom line.

As it turns out, ANY workout we choose is going to be “hard” and it’s going to be “hard” to commit to that choice. Growth is painful whether it’s physical, like muscular soreness from a workout, or whether it’s mental and emotional, like in personal growth.

No relationship gets to the next level without effort and renewed commitment over and over again. My relationship with my health, my body, and my fitness won’t grow on it’s own. I have to put in the work.

That means doing physical activity daily, repairing my diastis recti, lifting weights, and taking the best multivitamins and probiotics on the market. How else would I expect to have flat abs, toned arms, and true inner health again?

So yeah, if you see me working out, taking my vitamins, or see my workout posts on facebook, it’s not because it’s easier for me than it is for you. It’s freaking hard, just as hard as it is for you.

So when I see you working out, losing weight, or toning up, I’ll celebrate you like crazy. I don’t care if you think I’m making a big deal of it – I am!

I know how hard it is to stay committed to a workout plan, because I’m struggling through it too!

My Time to Shine

Fast forward from that first time I ran a mile and was so angry at the hubs for making me do it, and I suddenly get a bee in my bonnet and decide for myself that I’m going to get fit. The hubs has nothing but encouragement for me. I couldn’t ask for more.

The thing is, I’m not doing it for him. That might sound rude or selfish, and it’s not that I don’t appreciate the celebration. I really, strongly love his positivity and smile really wide every time he says something because it just warms my soul.

BUT, I’ve decided these years in my 30’s are my time. It’s MY TIME to grow into the woman that I expect myself to be, to accomplish more than I could ever imagine.

I’m determined to show my kids that they can smash any goals that they set for themselves, in addition to proving to myself how strong I really am. My own personal fitness is one of the ways that I’ve decided to experience this personal growth.

I’ve remember enjoying the run, the time alone, the struggle and immediate wave of accomplishment with each mile that I crushed while I was training for that half. I’ve loved listening to hours of podcasts and found a few favorites whose advice contributed to what I’m doing today.

I remember the pride I felt since I’d figured out a way to have “me” time while knocking out a big challenge. I feel crazy saying it, but the commitment to running a half marathon was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself!

A Little Help Over Here

Along the path of my yo-yo diet with fitness and health, I’ve found a few things that I love and that really help me out. Whether it be something that helps me get going, makes me more comfortable as I workout, or even makes working out more convenient, this gal can use all the help she can get!!

If you’re in my same boat, here are a few things I love:

Running App: Running For Weight Loss

The name may not be very exciting, but whether you’re trying to lose weight or not, it’s very useful. I love the free version of this app because of the running coach (tells you when to walk, jog, sprint, and at what percentage of power) and the variable times/ training options. I can play my own music while keeping this running in the background and get (nicely) coached the whole time.

Yoga App: Daily Yoga

This app comes with options for 1-2 week beginner programs and reminders to do your practice. I love the suggestions for what to try next as well as the focus on creating this new daily habit.

Workout App: Aaptiv 

I admit it, I spent a little cash on this one while I was training for the half-marathon and loved it! You can choose from light walk/jogs to programs focused on long runs or even building speed. Each program is set to music with a coach and you have the ability to choose favorite coaches and your preferred music genre.

Running Belt:

My brother gave me one of these babies for Christmas and I’ve used it on every run since! It’s perfect for keeping keys, phone, a little gel squeeze for energy, and anything else you need with you on your run. The adjustable waist makes it great for any size and gives you options on how you want to wear it.

Leggings with Pockets:

Ever since I figured out that these existed, I wear them every chance I get whether or not I’m working out. No kidding… have you seen me on the weekend? Chances are I’m wearing these. So comfy, tummy control, and POCKETS!!

Wireless earpods

These could probably go without explanation. I hated having a wire dangling around, smacking against me with every step I took. So I’ve gone wireless and never looked back. I usually wear these on the train and at work too- I am almost always listening to a podcast.

Workout jacket:

During the colder months I couldn’t think of running outdoors without the perfect running jacket. I decided zipper pockets and thumb holes in the sleeves were musts. I’ll point out that this jacket does not have a hood – that’s another pet peeve of mine while running – I can’t stand a hood flapping and bouncing around behind me.

Workout Socks:

These no-show, cushy, moisture wicking socks are absolutely da bomb! (do people still say that?) Anytime I wear these I just feel like I’m a little more agile.

Best sports bra:

I really love this wire-free, adjustable strap way to minimize bounce. Plus this baby comes in a wide variety of sizes, which is usually something I struggle with. I’m boring (ha ha) so I have the black one, but you ought to live it up in purple!

Fitbit:

I use the Fitbit Alta in combination with the Fitbit App to track my movement as well as my food intake. I tend to over eat on days when I workout because I just “know” I burned more, but this helps me keep that in check.

Shoe Lights:

Early morning trainings can get rough during the winter season, especially for a momma who has to be at work at 7 or 8 in the morning. Shoe lights helped illuminate my path as I ran as well as allowed others to see me. I pretty much fell in love with these the first time I used them.

T-25: 

I love this quick, yet intense, 25 minute workout program anytime I can’t exercise outside. Perfect for rainy or ultra-cold days.

Every Mother:

This program/app can save the mummy-tummy (diastis recti repair) even years after having kiddos! I’m still in the middle of this program, but holy moly! My stomach is shrinking & I’m getting my abs back!

Headbands:

I tend to have curls and fly-aways gone completely wild when I’m working out. To stave off yet another potential distraction from my workout, these headbands have increased my comfort and my style. Score!

Running Shoes:

Man, I love my Asics! I’ve gone through multiple running shoes over the years, these are my absolute favorite! I have the navy blue ones 🙂

Best yoga mat:

I was going to Bikram classes for a while. Those are the crazy 90 minute 90 degree classes where you come out dripping with sweat. So naturally, I was having trouble with my hands and feet sliding everywhere on a regular mat. This one’s additional texture really saved my day.

I am Enough

From one mom to another, I wasn’t a “runner” and never claimed to be, but I’m proving to myself one step at a time that I can do this! I’m becoming who I was meant to be, at my own pace. I’m finding out that I have expertise in more ways than I ever knew.

I’ve internalized this mantra:  “I am Enough”

It applies to every aspect of my life. Mindset is key and so much of commitment to growth is a mind game. I’m going from nothing to something this year, and I can’t wait to see who I am on the other side. Join me on this journey, follow me for updates, and share your progress as well. Strong moms unite!