Feeling spread too thin? Join the party.

Scheduling, planning, and the feeling of being stretched too thin runs rampant through our lives these days.

Whether you’re a mom of 1 or 4 and you work full time away or in the home (staying home with the kids IS work!), we all feel this stress. It ebs and flows in my life, as I’m sure it does yours. I’ll plan things out really well for the whole week, have bags pre-packed, chicken grilled, and eggs hard boiled, all the way down to the printed calendar on the wall with a dinner plan for each night. I’m so proud in that moment. These are the good weeks though.

The way things usually go?  The cat pukes on the floor, cheerios get dumped, the kids don’t get to bed on time, laundry is left in the dryer, and the broccoli for dinner gets burned while I’m refereeing a fight… we’re moments away from that perfectly planned week going down the drain at all times.

What about those weeks where I worked long hours all week, got the kids to school as early as I could and picked them up as late as I could? Those times where I struggled through the week with mish-mosh packed lunches, even forgot my lunch a couple of times or worked through it, felt like a bad mom & struggled with guilt all week since I barely saw my kids for an hour each morning and night, no laundry was done, and we picked up hamburgers or pizza at least twice?

Total. Mom. Fail.

Yes, those weeks happen to me too. So, I get it. I sympathize. No one is perfect, and let’s be honest here, even if nowhere else.

Even creating the plan for the week and keeping up with all the moving parts of a family is HARD!!

We all say we’re struggling with time management, when we’re really struggling with tons of tasks and self-management.

I’ve said it and heard it a million times. “I just can’t do everything!” And “There’s not enough time in the day!”.

I’ve been through several calendars, list apps, digital planners and reminder tools, and even several booklet planners- I actually like those the best. I still need help scheduling my day and sticking to it though.

I’m juggling multiple projects, 2 kids, an old dog who needs lots of attention, plus all of the home responsibilities like laundry, cleaning the house, providing and cooking nutritious meals, and getting everyone to bed on time… just like you.

Yes, the hubs helps out a lot!! I’d completely be insane if it weren’t for him, and honestly, I wouldn’t have the freedom to write this and share with you here if it were’s for him. But otherwise, we don’t have a nanny, a maid, a laundry service, or anything else like that.

So, what do I do? How do I handle it?

I can and will keep up

First of all, banish the negative thoughts of “I can’t”. I just psych myself out. I decide that I can and will. I own it and I’m CEO and COO of this family and things are going to go the way I design them.

You can do whatever it is, you just may accomplish things on a different timeline or in a different way than you thought.

The c – word “can’t” is not allowed in our house. You can, they can, and we all can. We just may have to be creative, ok?

Teaching this to our kids allows them to think and invent ways that they can make something happen. Maybe it’s practice, hard work, repetition, patience, or education that will get them to reach whatever it is.

In this case, mom, self-management and timing and schedule will require all of these.

I can fit it all in

I start off with a blank yellow pad. That’s it. That’s my secret, a dang yellow pad, no joke!

I’m a list maker so I’ll make lists and draw lines to separate them or categorize different columns or whatever I need to do to just get the lists and thoughts out of my head and onto paper so I can actually visualize things.

This process is well-known as a brain dump. While the term isn’t pretty, I love this method for dumping all of the clutter out of my mind and onto paper. You’d be amazed at how much stress we unknowingly carry around day in and day out just because of the conglomerate of random thoughts that are swirling in our heads 24/7. 

Some things might be grocery items or other things we need at the store, a side list might be errands to run like post office, bank, and dry cleaner. Another list might be calls I need to make, like scheduling doctors, dentist, and vet appointments.

There might be a list of things I need to do some time this week- just something I need to fit in like vacuuming, cleaning out the cat box, defrosting chicken, cleaning the bathrooms, changing the bed sheets etc.

Once I have my lists scribbled out, I try to rewrite them separately, in a more organized way. The grocery list is separate from the errand list, which is separate from the kid’s activity list, etc.

I start to separate out tasks I can do each night, either before or after the kids go to bed. I figure I’ve got two choices: I can schedule them all at once and spend my Sunday working my buns off, or I can schedule 1 activity a night and get them done a little at a time.

I’m not going to lie, I have searched high and low for a planner of any sort that has enough space on each page, enough columns or boxes or whatever for me to use with this brain dump process, and I have yet to find something that worked.

So, I created one. I just knew if I was struggling with this, that other mamas must be too! I designed a simple printable with a daily sheet and a two-week outlook sheet (you can print as many of each page as you need, week after week) specifically to be used with this method discussed here. 

Does anxiety and your mental “to do” list keep you up at night?

Keep a note pad or journal by the bed and write down everything on your mind before you turn out the light. No matter what is on my mind, whether it be work projects, wrapping presents, planning a grocery trip, packing the kids swim and gymnastics bags, cleaning out a closet, or whatever –  it really helps to just scribble it all out on paper.

If you write it out on paper, there’s no need to mull it over and lose sleep over it. You’ll handle it the next day, that’s why you wrote it down.

Beginning to practice this habit of writing things down before bed makes a big difference in the way I sleep, since I know I won’t forget anything and I’m at peace because it’s written down.

I can stick to a schedule

Next I get a blank calendar page. It helps me to do two weeks at a time. Viewing this week, planned as perfectly as possible, and the following week is just so I can see any important dates coming up really helps me wrap my head around what’s important NOW.

Using the blank calendar, I create the time slots throughout my day that work for MY schedule. I’m able to prioritize tasks based on importance and the dates by which things are needed. Your ability to prioritize and narrow your focus to 1-3 must-do’s each day is key!

Imagine how you’d feel at the end of the week if anywhere between 5-15 of those to-do list items were knocked out throughout the course of the week in a planned, non-stressful way.

If you have a tiny baby, your time slots might include nap time for the baby and time to wash the bottles or pump parts. If you’re home with older kids, your time slots will include getting the kids to and from school and after school activities. Allow yourself a balance of rigidity and flexibility with this schedule.

Each day may not be exactly the same, but that doesn’t matter as long as you can fit in what you need. Assigning time slots will allow you to visually see how much time is in the day and what you can fit in.

It’s easy to visualize that you have 1 hour to walk or workout before the kids wake up at 7am if you wake up at 6am. It’s easy to see that if you have an activity from 7-8 pm, you should probably have dinner at 6pm.

So, basically create your daily schedule as if you’re a high school or college student going from class to class, then throughout the week, try to begin and end activities according to the time slot you set.

Come back and do this same exercise – scheduling things out in a two week time block, every single week. It may seem redundant, but each week you need to be able to look ahead to the following week, plus things change so quickly! So if you practice this consistently at even intervals, you’ll always feel on top of things!

The first month may be hard, you may have some completely failed days, but keep trying. Stay on it.

Celebrate the things you do get accomplished and the number of times you really did accomplish an errand or a task. The next month will get much better and things will only get easier from there.

I do have time

Time management is key here, but we don’t really manage time. It comes and goes without anyone controlling it.

The most successful people realize they have to manage themselves and the things they CAN control.

Managing myself and my ability to accomplish things throughout the week begins on Sunday. It’s easier for me to look at the week ahead and plan for lunches, errands, meal plan for dinners, and get the kids everywhere they need to be.

I still keep a digital calendar with birthdays, doctor appointments, etc. However, this weekly hand-written list & calendar plan has helped me SO much.

Join me in implementing this with your family. I find that we’re even more successful throughout the week when I make my list alongside my husband, allowing him to help me think of what needs to happen this upcoming week.

He often remembers things that I don’t and we tend to prioritize things differently. So it’s helpful to know what’s on his mind and what he expects this upcoming week.

A magical thing happens when he can really see it all on paper and his eyes meet mine with an expression of surprise and realization of what all I handle on a weekly basis. He’s wonderful at helping where I’m not available and when he’s given a list of things to help with.

I can get help around the house

Which brings up another scheduling flaw we mammas face, our ability to delegate. We think that WE have to do it all.

I’ve recently discovered something called the Not To-Do List and I absolutely love it! This is an entirely separate exercise in itself, but WOW does it make a difference!

You narrow your focus to things you should be spending time on based on activities that move you and your life toward the goals that are actually important. This starts with making a list of all the activities that you spend time doing each day. Then you rank them in order of how much each task “makes a difference” in your life or moves you toward your goals. 

So, if you spend all day carting the kids around, mopping the floor, vacuuming, responding to emails, and returning phone calls when your true focus was intended to be listing unused items from around the house on Craigslist to declutter and generate some extra cash, you can tell that these tasks didn’t help accomplish that goal. 

Not that mopping, getting the kids to activities, and responding to emails isn’t important work, but those tasks just didn’t help generate that cash. This would tell you that those tasks need to be rescheduled for a different time, eliminated, or delegated. 

Reminding yourself of the actual focus for the day or week and comparing that to what you actually spend time on each day really helps to reel in any scatter-brain or hot-mess feelings of overwhelm. Take the time to eliminate, reschedule, or delegate some items that take up your time each day that are inadvertently preventing you from accomplishing your goals. 

Even though the kids might not put the laundry basket back in exactly the right spot, we need to let them help us. Same thing with our partners, we are called partners for a reason, so delegate a few errands or tasks instead of taking it all on ourselves.

Even if the hubs buys the wrong thing at the store, he will get it right some time, so send him back and he can video chat you from the aisle to get the right thing.

We’ve assigned the kids the tasks of bringing their laundry baskets up to the laundry room to just help us out. They may not do it perfectly each time, and we may have to point out that they dropped some things or didn’t put the lid back, but we make them fix whatever is wrong.

And you know what? They do a great job now and they take pride in helping us. In fact, I’m about to assign more household tasks to them! It helps me and it teaches them, so even if it’s a struggle at first, it’s totally worth it!

I did get things accomplished this week!

We, you and I, need to give ourselves credit for the things we do accomplish.

The times we do get the kids to gymnastics on time, the lunches we do pack, the times we actually put a home cooked healthy meal on the table. We need to soak in these little wins and relish in those moments more. Gratitude is one of the few things that really and truly melts away stress and anxiety.

The more moments we can spend being proud, thankful, grateful, and even patting ourselves on the back, the less time we’re going to spend being disappointed or even depressed about what we didn’t do.

Mommin’ is a hard gig. You’ve heard about how it’s the hardest, yet most rewarding job ever, right? Not rewarding as in monetarily, but rewarding as in with pride, love, growth, and inner strength.

We all signed up for this and are in it together.